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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157835">My First and Last</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multi_Elle/pseuds/Multi_Elle'>Multi_Elle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band), ONEUS (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>:), Coming Out, Family Feels, Fluff, M/M, Mentioned Ravn x Hwanwoong, just...just fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:53:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,529</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multi_Elle/pseuds/Multi_Elle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>" A realisation downed on him, making him frown.</p><p>Not once in his fifty one years of life, after a marriage and two children, had he ever been in love. "</p><p>----------------------</p><p>A failed speed dating session brings Mark and Donghyuck together. Self introspection ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My First and Last</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chinihona/gifts">Chinihona</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am reorganizing my stories, as this used to be in an OS bundle, so it's not impossible you've already stumbled upon this fic ˆˆ<br/>This was published on Chinihona's birthday but it's a bit ridiculous now since it's like a month and a half late, but don't judge me hehehe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark wasn't a bachelor, and he didn't do girlfriends.</p><p>Or at least he hadn't done in a good 25 years.</p><p>He took a sip of his red wine, trying to look interested in what the woman in front of him was saying.<br/>
Well, unsurisingly she talked about work. She was the head of human ressource in some company Mark couldn't recall the name of, and apparently that had to be the most interesting thing in the world because it was all she had been going on about for the past ten minutes (it felt like hours.)</p><p>Speed dating was an idiotic idea, and he had known it since the second his oldest son had suggested signing him up for it. " It'll be fun, dad " he said. " Wouldn't it be great not be alone in the house again? "</p><p>Hwanwoong had a point. Since he and his younger brother had left the house, one for work and one for his girlfriend, he had been living in a empty and silent home, about four times too spacious for him, cluttered with the years of accumulated magazines, videogames, scarfs his ex-wife never bothered to pick up, unmatched socks and those mounts of things he just never really bothered to get rid of.</p><p>It was a house full of memories, full of the past and it was keeping him from flipping the page of his first 50 years of life.</p><p>A little bell rung, signaling it was time to start chatting with the next person in line. The woman stopped blaberring and smiled at him, giving him a little piece of paper.</p><p>" It was very nice to talk to you, Mark " she said with a smile of her strawberry lips. " Looking forward to doing it again. "</p><p>He smiled back before opening the paper. ' Call me after work! Hyeji, XXX-XXX-XXX'</p><p>He stuffed the paper into his vest's pocket. Don't get him wrong, Hyeji was not…bad in any way. Rather pretty, black hair tied into a bun and a nice body-fitting green dress (Mark would have envied her great shape if he hadn't been gifted on that side as well.-. And she was nice, at least as much as she was talkative.</p><p>But she wasn't someone he could imagine his future with, not one second. He had passed the age of fooling around.<br/>
Honestly, he was rather sure he had passed the age of love. He had his shot, it ended in a rather ugly divorce, and that was that.</p><p>But he couldn't fight the loneliness, so here he was.</p><p>If there was one good thing about this whole speed-dating thing, it was that Mark realised he wasn't alone in his situation. About 40 men and women, all around his age were present, looking as desperate as he was.</p><p>He sighed. What had he gotten himself into?</p><p>Deciding to call the night short he stood up, walking out of the bar the meetings took place in.<br/>
He couldn't express how good fresh air felt when it hit his face.</p><p>" Ahaha, you too? " he heard a voice say from his left.</p><p>A man sat on a bench, looking tired but joyful nonetheless.<br/>
He had put less effort into his outfit than Mark but he looked better. Mark decided that was the unfairness of life.<br/>
The man wore a simple green cardigan and black pants, contrasting with the black vest and navy shirt Hwanwoong had forced him into wearing.</p><p>Mark smiled at him - well, he tried to- before walking up to the bench.</p><p>" Don't judge me. I think I will die if I smell a single drop of Chanel perfume ever again. " he said while sighing.</p><p>The other snickered before tapping the empty space on the bench.</p><p>" I promise I'm not wearing Chanel. You're safe. I'm Lee Donghyuck, by the way."</p><p>Mark would have assumed that. Most 50-something men didn't wear Chanel perfume.<br/>
He appreciated the heads up anyway and came to sit next to the man. He would not have his night back now, might as well have it end by making a knew acquaintance.</p><p>" Lee Mark. Nice to meet you " he said, extending a hand that the other man gleefully shook.</p><p>" Ah, Lee as well? Maybe we're long-lost brothers " he joked.</p><p>" Either that or we have the second more frequent last name in South Korea. "</p><p>Donghyuck nodded, looking throughly impressed.</p><p>" Mister knows his statistics. Did that help you get the attention of a lady back there? " he asked, to what Mark could only roll his eyes.</p><p>" Informative facts about last names aren't registered as a great flirting technique. "</p><p>" I find fun facts pretty cool! Have you even ever tried? " asked the other.</p><p>" I mean…I guess not. "</p><p>Dongyuck made this kind of 'told you' face that he couldn't help but smile at.</p><p>" It's not like I get to talk a lot anyway " continued Mark. Maybe it was the red wine that made him extraverted, maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the other man. Who knows. " My last date couldn't stop talking about her job, for the one before it was her kids. Job, kids, job, kids. And I can't even blame them, because I'm the same. It's all there ever is to my life. "</p><p>He probably sounded defeated, but truth to be told he felt so.</p><p>Donghyuck frowned. " Well first there is nothing wrong with liking your job and your kids. Second, I'm quite sure there is more to you then just that! Don't you have a passion, or some kind of…I don't know, particularity? " </p><p>Mark scratched his nape, a bit unsure. What did he like to do? Well, work and see Hwanwoong and Donju. That was…pretty much it.</p><p>" Wow, my life is that bland " he said after his moment of reflexion, which made Donghyuck laugh, <br/>
a contagious laugh that made Mark want to imitate him.</p><p>" If it can reassure you, same thing. I do have a passion for painting but I'm a painter so it's tied to my job. "</p><p>Mark did not have to feign being impressed, this time. This was definitely more interesting than HR. Oh don't get him wrong he had nothing against it per se, but it was closer to what he usually did, to what he already knew.</p><p>And the more this Donghyuck talked, the less he felt like his knew his world.</p><p>" Really? That's great! I love art! " he exclaimed. " I mean don't get me wrong, I don't know the first thing about it but it looks good. So it's good. Yeah."</p><p>Mark seriously wanted to slap himself. Sure, he had been with a woman for years so not knowing how to flirt with a woman wasn't too surprising, but now he didn't even know how to make a friend anymore?<br/>
Was he that lonely?</p><p>Fortunately Donghyuck didn't seem to pick up on that, simply laughed it off.</p><p>" Thank god you're honest, most people immediatly go on pretending to be some kind of Picasso expert. A woman in there started telling me how much she liked paintings, especially Debussy's ones. "</p><p>He shook his head in a gesture of dispair, before saying " Debussy was a music composer! "</p><p>He sighed, letting himself fall back onto the bench. This was a man who talked with passion.</p><p>" Well at least people don't try to explain your job to you. One of my ex-wife's colleagues tried to explain me the works of Pythagore before. I have a mathematics PhD!"</p><p>They were interrupted by the sound of the little bell that came from inside the bar, indicating it was time to change partners.</p><p>" Do you want to go back? " asked him Donghycuk, to what he shook his head.</p><p>" I've had enough for tonight. I don't think there is anyone for me there, anyway. My kids talked me into doing this. "</p><p>The other made a gesture of agreement. " Me too. Honestly I didn't expect to make even a friend, yet here we are! " he declared with a friendly nudge.</p><p>Mark smiled at that. A friend! He had successfully made a friend!<br/>
Oh, how his sons would laugh at him if they knew he was celebrating like a 3 years-old on the first day of Kindergarten. But he didn't realize exactly how isolated he was.</p><p>" Are you coming back next week? " asked him Donghyuck after a while.</p><p>Mark nodded. " I promised I would do three sessions. Will you be there? "</p><p>" Yes, same ordeal. I'm at my second session though. Well, see you next week Mr. Mark! "</p><p>In fornt of the man's unusual joyfulness, Mark couldn't help but smile back.</p><p>" See you next week, Mr. Donghyuck."</p><p>--------------------------------------------</p><p>The following week he arrived early.<br/>
He came to the bar straight out of work,  at least he was dressed decently enough, and didn't bother to stop by his house. It's not like anyone was waiting for him anyway.</p><p>He sat at a table before taking his phone out, checking his children's messages.</p><p>Hwanwoong: Have fun at your dates dad!<br/>
Hwanwoong: But not like too much fun<br/>
Hwanwoong: I don't want a new sibling<br/>
Hwanwoong: I swear if you make me a new sibling I make you a grandfather</p><p>Dongju: Dad, can we put Woong up for adoption?<br/>
Dongju: And you don't even have a girlfriend, let alone a kid!</p><p>Hwanwoong: I'm twenty four you idiot!<br/>
Hwanwoong: blablablabla</p><p>Mark laughed at his children's dumbassness. He was not sure about making a family groupchat at first but it revealed itself to be the source of a few humoristical gemes, and it kept Mark going.</p><p>When he locked his phone his gaze stumbled upon chocolate hair and caramel skin, and a smile appeared on his lips.</p><p>" Donghyuck! " he called.</p><p>The man turned around and sent him back his smile before approaching to seat besides him.</p><p>" Mr. Mark! Nice to see you. That's probably the only time I'm going to say that this whole evening. "</p><p>Mark raised his brows in acknowledement. " Tell me about it. So looking forward to having my life choices judged by complete strangers! "</p><p>" Hey don't say that. Maybe you'll find the love of your life tonight! " he said with a nudge.</p><p>" I don't see why the love of my life would be interested in speed dating. But maybe you will find her."</p><p>Donghyuck let out a laugh, that Mark could only describe as the mid-point between nervous and sarcastic. " Yeah, I highly doubt that " he concluded.</p><p>They got no more time to talk as the little bell annoucing the speed dating would start rung.</p><p>Mark's first date was a woman around his age, with a nice black and grey ponytail and a pretty blue shirt.</p><p>" Hello, I'm Mark " he said, not knowing where to start.</p><p>" I'm Gayong. So, what do you do in life? " she immeditaly asked.</p><p>Here we go. Work.</p><p>" I teach maths in college. "</p><p>She made a disgusted face. " Ah. I really hate maths, it's too hard. I mean it's good if you like it, I just really hate it. I'm a geography teacher. "</p><p>Mark was hit with the strong want to answer something along thelines of 'I really hate geography, it's too hard' but he contained himself. He didn't even need to say anything actually because she just went on.</p><p>" So your name is Mark, is that American? Are you an American? " she asked.</p><p>" Uh yes I am, I'm from Canada. "</p><p>The woman faked a laugh. " Oh, so you wanted to answer 'No, I'm from Canada'. Since, you know. Different countries"</p><p>America is a freaking continent come on- How could she teach geography?</p><p> He sent a look to his left where Donghyuck sat with his date. It seemed to be going better than his, as they were happily chatting. Well, at least someone would have found something good tonight.<br/>
Whatever. Back to his date.</p><p>" Yes. Yes exactly what I wanted to say " he answered with a fake smile.</p><p>The rest of the date was about that tragic, and he was pretty sure he started considering murder when she said " I have nothing against you even if you are an immigrant you know because you are legal ". It only got worse from then on.</p><p>When the bell rung again he was that close to cold-blooded homicide.<br/>
Gayong didn't seem to have caught onto that because she slipped her number into his direction, telling him to call her when he'd had the time.<br/>
Yeah, count on that.</p><p>He turned back to Donghyuck who was biding goodbye to his date.</p><p>" So? How was it? " he asked first.</p><p>Mark sighed. " Awful. It'll make a great exemple when I'll present my kids my essay on 'why I should not go to speed-dating'. And you? Seemed to be going smoothly. "</p><p>Donghyuck bit his lip. " Well…I mean, she's very pretty and very nice, but I don't want to date her. If that even makes sense. "</p><p>Mark nodded. "No no, it does. ". He perfectly understood the feeling because it's the same he got the week prior with this Hyeji woman. Lovely, but he just didn't feel…attraction.</p><p>" Hey, do you want to go elsewhere? " he asked Donghyuck, a bit out of the blue. " I mean no, stay if you want but I won't. I won't go home because I promised my kids I would go to the speed-dating but nothing keeps me from going elsewhere. "</p><p>He expected rejection but that was baddly knowing Donghyuck, because he wildly smiled.<br/>
" Oh my god yes please. "</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>Mark didn't know a lot of fun places, and when he did he assumed they wouldn't fit Donghyuck's definition of fun.<br/>
He was wrong because the younger was all smiles at he watched the amateur band that played in a corner of the café Mark brought him too.</p><p>Well Donghyuck smiled a lot, but this was a special smile.</p><p>" Man, I love music. And food. This is like, the perfect place. " he said while turning back to Mark who laughed lightly.</p><p>" I used to come here when I was a student. I mean it changed a lot, but I find it kind of poetic how it's still there. "</p><p>Donghyuck nodded. " Very poetic, but it's not surprising. I'll have to bring my granddaughter here."</p><p>Mark nearly chocked on his wine. " You are a grandfather??"</p><p>The younger proudly nodded. " Yes sir! I have a 27 daughter and a 5 years old granddaughter. She's adorable, look!! " he said while grabbing his phone from his pocket to show him his lockscreen, a picture of a little girl with pigtails rocking a spider-man costume.<br/>
She definitely looked something like him, same round cheeks and pretty tan skin. And he was right, she was the cutest.</p><p>" She's very time-consuming I gotta admit that, but it's worth it. My daughter had her very young so  I helped her a lot when María was a baby. Oh, it's my grandaughter's name, María. Hyejin's boyfriend is from Chile."</p><p>" Wow, I couldn't imagine if one of my sons was to have a kid right now. I mean one is drowning under college studies and the other is the proud father of a cat named Dragon." he said with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>" I'm lucky Hyejin didn't name her daughter Dragon. I mean she inherited from half my genes so it wouldn't have been a big surprise " he said whith a laughter Mark immediately echoed.</p><p>" Was she the one who asked you to get into the speed-dating thing as well?"</p><p>Mark could have bet Donghyuck's gaze darkened a bit.</p><p>" Hum, yes it was. But she…"</p><p>It was when he started picking at the skin around his nails that Mark stopped him and put a soothing hand onto his arm.</p><p>" I'm sorry if I tacled a picky subject. Don't tell me if you're not comfortable to. " he said, which immediatly made Donghyuck smile.</p><p>" Look at you being a nice dude! No it's just…okay don't hate me, but I kind of am really gay. And she kinda doesen't know." he finally let out.</p><p>Mark froze in his tracks for a few seconds. Gay? He had never met anyone gay. Well he knew he had a bi cousin but he had seen her only once. What kind of reaction was he supposed to have to a half-stranger coming out?</p><p>Donghyuck raised a hand before he could say anything anyway.</p><p>" Before you ask, yes I'm sure, no I don't have a crush on you, no it's not against you I just happen to like men who also like men, yes I already had sex with a woman".</p><p>Even though he tried to sound chill, Mark could see the stress in Donghyuck's being. Hence why he didn't move his hand from the other's arm.</p><p>" Wait, people you come out to ask random questions about your sex life?? " he asked in disbelief.</p><p>His eyes opened even wider when Donghyuck nodded like that was no big deal. " You're like…the first one who didn't."</p><p>" Okay. Wow, people suck " he said with what he hoped was a laugh and not just some kind of screeching. " It's cool, I just never met a gay person."</p><p>This remark made Donghyuck laugh, for real this time and Mark was happy from seeing the stress leave his body.</p><p>" Well, it's an honor Mr. Lee. "he said with a smile.</p><p>" But I don't know how to act! " he said, still panicked. " Should I talk about it or not? Like can I ask you questions or is that invasive? "</p><p>Donghyuck shrugged. " Go ahead. I'll stop you if you ask something off-limit. Chill Mark, it's okay you're doing great. "</p><p>Mark appreciated that.</p><p>" How did you know? " was the first thing that came to his mind. If he had a daughter he must have had a wife or a girlfriend at some point, so how…how does one understand they liked men?</p><p>" Well I fell in love. I never cheated, but it was enough to make me realize that the feelings I had for my wife weren't romantic ones. You know, it was like the woman I had a speed-date with at the bar. She's nice and I appreciate her, but I am not attracted to her. " he answered with an unusual calm.</p><p>Attraction…what even was attraction? Mark didn't remember his feeling from when he had met his wife, was that attraction?</p><p>" Okay."</p><p>This was a short answer but it more or less summed up his ocean of thoughts, and it probably was right because Donghyuck smiled even wider.</p><p>" Well, luckily today was your last session of speed-dating right? " he asked, remembering the talk they had the week prior.</p><p>Donghyuck nodded. " If you want to skip it next week, you can come home. I will not have food as great as this but I can make pretty decent lasagna."</p><p>Mark smiled, already looking forward to the following week. </p><p>" Wow how lucky, my favorite meal just changed to lasagna! "</p><p>-----------------------------</p><p>" Hey dad, looking good! " said Hwanwoong as soon as he stepped into his father's house.</p><p>He had invited his children to come over for lunch, and they had jumped onto the occasion of catching up with his speed-dating experiments (and who were they to say no to free food?).</p><p>Mark was not sure what his oldest was going on about, though. He wore the same white shirt (don't judge him, he owned only one) and blue jeans, something both classy and relaxed. It's not like he was trying to woo anyone anyway, he was just going at Donghyuck's. Well, that still implied dressing well because the other man was unfairly good looking and he couldn't let himself get stepped on.</p><p>They all sat around the kitchen table, starting to eat their food- fried chicken, Mark had ordered.</p><p>There was something he couldn't get out of his head since the conversation he had last week. And he had to admit, his children's generations was more open about that kind of things so maybe…</p><p>" I have a friend that came out to me. " he said, maybe a bit out of the blue.</p><p>His sons immediatly stoped eating and shared a look, of what Mark could only assume was anxiety.</p><p>" You don't have anything against…that do you? " asked Hwanwoong after a moment.</p><p>" What? " exclaimed Mark. Was this the impression he gave to his own kids?! " No of course not! That wasn't my question! "</p><p>Both let out a sigh of relief. " Okay, what was it then? " asked Dongju.</p><p>" Well you see, he used to be married. To a woman. So I wondered, you know. How can you not…know? How can you not realize you are into men? I'm sorry if it's a weird question I just want to understand him. "</p><p>Hwanwoong smiled to him. " It's fine dad, it's cool. Well…When you've been raised to think that what you feel for girls is attraction when you just have friendly feelings for them, it leads to some mishaps. Maybe your friend thought he loved his wife and then realized attraction was something else. You know. Finding someone beautiful, being happy when they're here, feeling comfortable around them, wanting to kiss them, all that crap. "</p><p>Mark laughed. " That's an awfully long list. You seeing someone Woongie? "</p><p>His son immediately straightened up on his chair, his eyes roaming around the room.</p><p>" What? Nooo. Stop laughing you dumbass! " he said before lightly hitting his brother on the nape.</p><p>While his children went on with their banter, Mark found himself lost in his thoughts.</p><p>Attraction.<br/>
Finding someone beautiful, being happy when they're here, feeling comfortable around them, wanting to kiss them, all that crap.<br/>
Was this description accurate?</p><p>I mean, take the perfectly random exemple of Donghyuck. He was beautiful - objectively -, made him happy because he was bloody interesting and conversation just felt easy with him, made him comfortable because he was joyful but serious when needed, and well he didn't want to kiss him so that was that. Like it wouldn't be…terrible, he guessed? Weird. But like. Not teeerrible.<br/>
But did that make him attracted to him? No!</p><p>Though when he tried to find anyone else who fitted those criteria, he struggled.</p><p>Even his ex-wife didn't make the cut.</p><p>Was…<br/>
Was attraction what he felt for Donghyuck?!</p><p>As soon as he allowed this thought to enter his mind, a world of possibility appeared.</p><p>Maybe he could…he could kiss Donghyuck. He could sleep with Donghyuck. He could adopt puppies with Donghyuck- okay he was getting ahead of himself.</p><p>And a realisation downed on him, making him frown.<br/>
He had never been in love before.</p><p>Not once, in his fifty one years of life had he ever been in love.</p><p>" You okay dad? You look like you're freaking out" said Dongju, getting him out of his thoughts.</p><p>Yes, because he was freaking out!!</p><p>" I'm fine, I just forgot to send an important work email " he answered, surprised a how smooth he was.</p><p>" We're talking about love and the first thing that came to your mind is work? Your life is sad dad. " said Donju while rolling his eyes.</p><p>" Don't give me attitude, I gave birth to you " he answered, picking up their plates to go and wash them.</p><p>" No you didn't! Mom did! "</p><p>" Well technically I was included in the making process. "</p><p>Both his children immediatly made 'ewww' sounds before fake gagging, yelling 'too much info' at him.<br/>
Some things never changed, he guessed.</p><p>This made him realize something else, as he caught his reflection in the window. Maybe he liked men, so what? <br/>
He was still the exact same.</p><p>Maybe a little older than the last time he had been in a relationship. Okay, definitely older. But there wasn't only incovenients. He was wiser, smarter, had a better sense of rationality and had experienced enough to know when it was safe to let go off the control he had over things.</p><p>And this definitely was one of those times.</p><p>Being cool with the situation was easier to do in his kitchen with his kids then eight hours later, in front of Donghyuck's appartement.</p><p>He had been more clever than him and had downsized after he split with his wife. Mrk didn't even know why he kept his big house. Maybe because deep down, he hoped he could find soemone to live in it with.</p><p>Maybe he already did.</p><p>When Donghyuck opened the door Mark had to stop himself from running away. What was he, fifteen? He just had never…flirted or anything. His ex-wife had asked him out and that was that. It probably was a pathetic sight, a 52 years old blushing like a teenage girl but his friend didn't seem to notice or mind as he gestured for him to get in.</p><p>Mark was almsot reassured to see the place was a mess.</p><p>Well, not a mess in the…well, messy sense of the word. It was clean and everything was in its place. No, what Mark liked was that not two elements of the decoration matched each other, that the walls were covered in pictures placed in no logical chronological order, that there was a basket of toys next to a professional laptop and an ugly-patterned plaid on the couch.</p><p>Donghyuck too came with a story, he too came with memories.<br/>
And Mark was dying to learn all about them.</p><p>Aside from the pictures, there also were some paintings adorning the wall, which Mark assumed were Donhyuck's. They were a bit abstract, strongly colored. One of them even had glitter, and Mark found it amazing.</p><p>" Maria helped me with that one. " said a voice behind him and Mark turned to find Donghyuck looking at the sam painting as him. " I'm the one responsible for the glitter, of course. But those strokes over there, that's her."</p><p>This was the most endearing thing Mark had heard all week. Scratch that, that was the most endearing thing Mark had heard his all life.</p><p>" It's beautiful. The glitter, I mean. "</p><p>He was so embarassing.</p><p>Donghyuck nodded, not sure of what was going on.</p><p>" Thank you. Do you want a glass of wine before we eat? We can watch a movie if you want. Or like the news if you prefer, maybe a movie is a bit childish and I-"</p><p>" I love movies " immediatly answered Mark, to which Donghyuck nodded with a smile.</p><p>" Great! I'll go fetch us some glasses, I'll be back"</p><p>Mark let himself fall onto the couch, his heart beating as if it was going to come out of his chest. This had never happened to him before. Never.</p><p>He started breathing again when Hyuck came back with two glasses and went to the TV to put a DVD in.</p><p>Mark took a deep breath in. Hell, he really was doing this.<br/>
" Hey Donghyuck. I want to tell you something. "</p><p>His friend turned back and went to seat on the couch next to him.<br/>
" Sure. What is it?"</p><p><br/>
" I uh " started Mark, trying to not be too obvious with his fidgeting. " I think I am gay. Too. Yeah." he finally said, pretty much in a breath.<br/>
It was weird, because it was the first time he ever said it out loud. He wasn't only coming out to Donghyuck there, he was coming out to himself.</p><p>The other's face grew into an expression of surprised.</p><p>" Oh. Well that is cool." he said with an unsure nod.</p><p>Okay Mark, halfway there. You can do it.</p><p>" Uh yeah. I think I like you? Does that even make sense- I'm sorry I'm so terrible at this I've never done it and you'd think I'd know because I've read books and everything but noooo I just-"</p><p>His nervous rant was interrupted by a hand on his cheek and a pair of lips on his.<br/>
Wow. He had already kissed his wife obviously but this…this was different.</p><p>He kissed back, slightly pushing Donghyuck against the armrest of the couch, his hands naturally finding his waist naturally gripping his body so he wouldn't let go.</p><p>He liked that. He really, really like that.</p><p>They kissed for what felt like hours - hopefully it wasn't literal - and even the very annoying beeping of the oven couldn't stop them.</p><p>He had the world's most beautiful man and his first love between his arms, lasagna could wait.</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>" It's going to be fine. They'll love me because I'm basically awesome. "</p><p>Mark knew that behind his sarcasm, Donghyuck was hiding his own worry - or so was proven by the hand that was gently rubbing his back.</p><p>Growing a bit more serious, he placed his chin onto Mark's shoulder.</p><p>" They'll still love you too, Mark. Because you're also very much awesome."</p><p>He smiled, his hand finding Donghyuck's hair. He was tensed. He was afraid.<br/>
But there was no backing off now.</p><p>Both of their families were waiting for them in the living room. Hyejin, her husband Damian, María, Dongju and Hwanwoong.<br/>
It made Mark smile how much his daughter was similar too him. Same tan skin, round cheek, big almond eyes with long lids. Smiley, energetic - traits that had been passed onto María as well.<br/>
And it made Donghyuck smile how Mark's children were two different facets of his personality: Hwanwoong was goofy, emotionnal and outgoing, Dongju was calmer, hardworking and passionate.</p><p>This had to go well. This had to go well because he was not letting go either of them or of his boyfriend.</p><p>When they got in the room they shared a look, and Mark took it upon him to be the one to do the talking.</p><p>" Hey…buddies. Children. Adults…people".</p><p>Okay, he tried.<br/>
He saw his sons share a look, Hwanwoong telling Dongju " why is dad malfuncioning? " and Hyejin try to supress a look.<br/>
Well it's not like he came out everyday!</p><p>" We are dating " suddenly said Donghyuck, kind enough to not have Mark embarass himself further.</p><p>Hwanwoong choked on air but aside from him the only reaction their children had was to smile.<br/>
María turned to her parents, asking in a tone she probably thought was a whisper " mooom. What's happening?? "</p><p>No one bothered to answer to her yet, not wanting to be the first one to talk.</p><p>Donghyuck took it upon him once more. " Is it…okay? " he asked, and Mark was sure he had never seen him that anxious of his life.</p><p>Finally Hwanwoong let out a laugh, breaking the tense silence. " I mean, we did send dad to the speed-dating so he could find someone to date. We're not going to complain now! "</p><p>Dongju nodded. " Yup. He seems like a nice dude. " he said with a smile.</p><p>Hyejin pulled her child in her lap, all smiles out as well. " I'm glad that you finally told us, dad. Thank you for taking care of him Mark. It means a lot. "</p><p>He smiled back to her, fidgeting with his hands. " So it's not a problem that we're both men? "</p><p>Her and her husband both shook their head, Dongju just raised his shoulders, and Hwanwoong…</p><p>" Well I may be like…kind of pansexual? " he answered, making his brother choke on air.</p><p>" I knew it!!! You're dating that Youngjo dude from medical school aren't you? You straight up lied to me you idiot!!" he said with a nudge.</p><p>" Well I didn't know you all were okay with it!!! We just…never talked about it I guess. "he said, looking down.</p><p>Mark smiled at him, clutching onto Donghyuck's hand a bit harder. He should have made his child feel like it was okay to come out. He should have made himself feel like it was okay to come out.<br/>
But he could not go back in time and now what was left to do was to live a happy life, and to love whoever they wanted.</p><p>" Mom really what's happening I'm confused " asked María who was seemingly completely lost.</p><p>Hyejin laughed and started her explanation.<br/>
" Well you see, grandpa and Mr. Mark are gay, that means they like men. And uncle Hwanwoong is pansexual, that means he likes people regardless of their gender. Do you understand? "</p><p>The little girl scratched her head before nodding.</p><p>" Isn't that the same as you mom? " she asked again.</p><p>" No, mom is bisexual. That is different because I do take the gender into account. It's close but the distinction is important. " she answered with a soft smile.</p><p>Donghyuck let out a laugh, at the same time as Dongju sighed.</p><p>" So what am I now. The token straight family member? "</p><p>Damian laughed as he high-fived him. " No, we're two- Mark is everything okay? "</p><p>They all turned back to him to realize that he was straight up crying, tears rolling down his cheek and onto his shirt.<br/>
They all stood up to hug him ind what eneded up being a human sandwich filled with laughter.</p><p>" I'm sorry I just…I love you all so, so much" he said between two sobs.</p><p>Love actually wasn't that complicated.<br/>
And that evening he understood, his hand in Donghyuck's as his family laughed into the living room, telling the stories they were too afraid to let out an hour ago, his boyfriend's radiant smile directed at him, he understood that he didn't only want Donghyuck to be his first love.<br/>
He also wanted him to be his last.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Shoutout to my lovely secondary characters:</p><p>. She's well known but of course Hyejin is Mamamoo's Hwasa, and her daughter's name is from her last solo<br/>. Hwanwoong and Dongju are members of Oneus, a group from Mamamoo's company. Their latest song is titled 'to be or not to be', and it's worth a listen! (TW: shooting). Youngjo is just mentionned but he also is a Oneus member</p></blockquote></div></div>
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